Our current culture will tell us that any group, any combination of individuals, can raise children in a loving home. Of course, I would agree there are exceptions to this expansion of family structure; however, I think it is the underlaying foundational cause of many of our relational problems. The brutal language being spewed throughout all of society is nothing more than hate speech. What about the violence we see, the increase in gang memberships and substance abuse? Why do kids fight, kill and play their brutal games? Why do boys treat girls so harshly? Why do girls fight so much and express such hate on social media? Is all this a desire to be accepted into some form of “family”…a real family they don’t have at home? Do boys not have a male role model that can teach them compassion, sensitivity, and basic manners? The raising number of single-parent families might suggest this as one of our problems, but then there are exceptions to this where a single caring parent is performing better than an abusive two parent home. Can our problems be traced back to the nuclear family unit? I am sure the problem is multi-dimensional; I don’t want to fall into the trap of suggesting a single simplified cause.
I think our problem is basic selfishness, plain and simple!. We could blame the “Me Generation” where the focus was on self. We could blame of experts in relationships who say a person must first take care of self before they can be able to share. What can I get out of this relationship? I want this and I want that. I am not fulfilled, so I am out of this relationship. The entire focus is on the self. We do know that the family break down goes way beyond one single generation. I grew up in the sixties; now there was a generation focused on self if ever we had one.
This focus on self is not biblical. It is not God’s plan where male and female are both created equally in the image of God, to become a single unit working for the joy of the other.
In John Dempsey’s article published in Townhall on September 28, 2018, entitled “Bloomberg Writer: Dropping Divorce Rate is Leading to Inequality”; we read of the University of Maryland study which shows an 18% drop in divorce rate in the last 8 years. This should be celebrated…less broken homes is best for our future and our children; but the left seems to take a good thing and make it a bad thing; in this case, an issue of inequality. As Mr. Dempsey noted: “Marriage can easily survive when each spouse is willing to do something special for the other.” This, I can attest works and it is commanded in the Bible…but to embrace this position, the culture would need to embrace the Bible, and we all know where that is going. Mr. Dempsey also notes that marriage doesn’t discriminate between classes of people. The break down of the nuclear family has nothing to do with education or economics; it has everything to do with the heart. There exists an plausible argument that Welfare has broken down the family unit. Can we turn our nose-drive toward destruction around? I don’t know, but I believe the break down in the nuclear family unit, first planned and created by God, to be definitely on our slippery slope.