Love is not just a feeling; it is so much more, and yes…love takes work. The culture tells you it is about feelings. If you are only relying on feelings, you will be very disappointed.
Yes, love takes work and many people want only the feelings of lust, unwilling to do the work real love takes. Roughly 50% of marriages apparently are not based on this “real love”, but are based on a hot “selfish love”. So when your selfish needs are not being met, you bale out on your promises and commitments made at the wedding alter. One only needs to listen to the talk of those divorced couples and you hear the familiar words: “I want this, I want that, my needs are not being met, I am unhappy…I, I, I” Selfishness!
My position is that real love shores up people, love transplants us; this is the main structure developed in the pages of the book, “A Different kind of Tree”. This book is about the pathway toward God’s unconditional love. It is about “surrender”…the surrender to God is how you start becoming a Christian.
A husband and wife are to become one flesh (Matthew 19:5); though the culture thinks otherwise, there is no “I” in Christian marriage. There is only “we” as one. The two are to become one. The culture would say, no Haven, you’re wrong; you must maintain your individuality. The misguided “culture-created” experts will tell you that you must not lose yourself; you must maintain “self.” Oh really? Ask yourself if the culture is getting better or worse under this misguided philosophy. The facts speak for themselves, my friends; don’t follow the “talking heads.” We must pray, connect with Jesus Christ, and obey the nudgings of the Holy Spirit. Don’t follow your feelings, for feelings are temporary, they cloud your vision and can be misguiding. Don’t follow your old heart, for a heart in rocky ground is an evil heart. The only right choice is to feed your heart on the “Bread of Life,” Jesus the Christ (John 6:35) to grow in fertile ground, then you will have a new heart.
By now, everyone has heard of and probably taken a position on the Chick-fil-A v. gay marriage issue. Have you noticed that the attacks seem to be coming from only one side. Mr. Cathy is a private person and his business is a private business. As long as he follows the laws of the land, no one should be able to tell him what to do. Government should not be able to tell him when to be open for business and when to be closed. If you don’t like his personal opinion on a matter, don’t go to his establishment. Mr. Cathy simply spoke what his personal feelings were…something we have a right to do in this country…so far. Those demanding tolerance instantly became the most intolerant people on the planet.
Read Romans 12 again…to be a Christian is to be “counter-culture”! To be a Christian is to do and be what is pleasing to God, not to do what makes your neighbor happy! We are to love our persecutors and not wish them ill. The fact is simply this (like it or not) marriage is God-ordained and God-created, both physically and emotionally, to be between a man and a woman. The Bible tells us, “The two shall become one flesh.” As the Christian is to walk in the footsteps of Jesus Christ, he is to also pray for those who persecute him, as I am sure Mr. Cathy does. Those non-Christians wanting love seem to be the most hateful. I pray for you, as I also pray for the Christians going against the flow, against destructive raging current of a mighty out-of-control cultural river.
I was NOT wrapped up in all the trappings of the Royal Wedding. It just seemed like a bunch of gossipping to me. But I awoke on that Friday morning with all the airwaves filled with TV coverage, and lo what did I see? I saw smiles, happiness and excitement. I saw a nation pull together for a singular event. I saw pride, laughter and merriment. People, lots of people, calmly wishing to be close; to be close enough to actually be a participant in the event. They were seeking to be included in something worthwhile and much bigger than themselves. I saw a world interested in something positive and happy…something good, instead of being a world we see in the news as being so hateful and ugly! The world was groaning and now is on fire; we need something beautiful and refreshing to put out those flames!