Love is not just a feeling; it is so much more, and yes…love takes work. The culture tells you it is about feelings. If you are only relying on feelings, you will be very disappointed.
Yes, love takes work and many people want only the feelings of lust, unwilling to do the work real love takes. Roughly 50% of marriages apparently are not based on this “real love”, but are based on a hot “selfish love”. So when your selfish needs are not being met, you bale out on your promises and commitments made at the wedding alter. One only needs to listen to the talk of those divorced couples and you hear the familiar words: “I want this, I want that, my needs are not being met, I am unhappy…I, I, I” Selfishness!
My position is that real love shores up people, love transplants us; this is the main structure developed in the pages of the book, “A Different kind of Tree”. This book is about the pathway toward God’s unconditional love. It is about “surrender”…the surrender to God is how you start becoming a Christian.
A husband and wife are to become one flesh (Matthew 19:5); though the culture thinks otherwise, there is no “I” in Christian marriage. There is only “we” as one. The two are to become one. The culture would say, no Haven, you’re wrong; you must maintain your individuality. The misguided “culture-created” experts will tell you that you must not lose yourself; you must maintain “self.” Oh really? Ask yourself if the culture is getting better or worse under this misguided philosophy. The facts speak for themselves, my friends; don’t follow the “talking heads.” We must pray, connect with Jesus Christ, and obey the nudgings of the Holy Spirit. Don’t follow your feelings, for feelings are temporary, they cloud your vision and can be misguiding. Don’t follow your old heart, for a heart in rocky ground is an evil heart. The only right choice is to feed your heart on the “Bread of Life,” Jesus the Christ (John 6:35) to grow in fertile ground, then you will have a new heart.